Dancing in the street

This is a few months old.  I think I wanted to say more in it, but sometimes thoughts aren’t always polished:

A minor correction from last post: Bill Strickland was a potter, not a poet.  Well, maybe he’s a poet, but I don’t know it.  (Oooohh, I’m so clever!)

I’m going through a discipleship program called Sonship.  One of the guys in my church has been walking me through it, and so far, it’s been awesome.  As I described to my brother Charles, God has been teaching me in amazing ways, but God’s growth makes me feel like a 30 year old whose bones start to grow again.  Ouch.

But one thing that has really been lifting me up in this is a simple thing a man said in the lecture recording.  “The gospel without music…”

A theologian without faith is like a deaf music critique.  They sit in the presence of the greatest orchestra and can be impressed with the uniform of well dressed musicians, see the precision and unity of bows being drawn across strings, feel the rumblings match with the frenzied movement of the conductor, but they will never hear the music.

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Now, there is something that I need to do.  I need to recant.  In earlier blog posts, I’ve said that sin breaks God’s heart.  I was wrong.

God is not heartbroken over our sin.  WE’RE heartbroken over our sin.  God’s opinion of us never changes.  He LOVES us!  If there was ANYTHING that we could do to change that, if there was ANYTHING that we could do to change our opinion of God, what was the point of the Cross?

I realized that so often, I view my relationship with God based upon how well I am doing at following the Law.  As the guys in the house and I have been going through the book of Romans, I realized how messed up that is.  Jesus didn’t die so that I could follow the Law better.  He died so that I could be freed from the Law and all its penalties.  Easier said in good times and harder to remember in bad times.

This is not to be confused with “sinning the more to receive grace the more,” (Romans 6:1) but a realization that “For God has bound all men over to disobedience so that he may have mercy on them all.” (Romans 11:32) “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death” (Romans 8:1-2)

Ok, I did a bit of a Bible verse shuffle, but seriously.  There was something that I picked up from Sonship.  “Why do we act like God hates us until we die?”

Another cool thing–when we stop basing our relationship with God on our own good, we’ll stop judging others for their sin because we know its not our performance (or lack thereof) that defines our relationship with God.  It’s ONLY Jesus.  How can I judge someone else’s sin when I am the worst of sinners?  And how can I believe to be the worst of sinners, if I am not confessing my sins to my brothers and sisters?  How can I live in Christ’s justification if I’m afraid of other people’s opinion of me and seeking their justification?

I don’t know how much this resonates with people, but I see that in my understanding of the Gospel, an idea that my performance has any bearing on my salvation, justification, or sanctification has a pretty self inflated view.  I’ve tried becoming a better person, and it never changes the evil inside me.  And if there is some victory, it leads to another defeat in pride or self-sufficiency.  The Gospel of freedom is that Christ has done all and does all.

I love you all, and so does Jesus.

 

Year of Jubilee

In the van driving home down 76, we are excited and exhausted. The hope of the Gospel, the reminder that this is our Father’s World is pumping through our veins and ringing in our ears. The music was loud and the message of Christ’s hunger for justice and love was still louder. We are reminded that every square inch of this creation is previous to the Creator—our prayer, our praise, our work, our play, our homes, our communities, our churches, our supermarkets, our debts, our lunch breaks, our books, our TV, our schools, our slums, our schedules, and our voices. Now take “our” and put “His.”

For those of you who may not know, I was at the Jubilee conference Valentine’s Day weekend in Pittsburgh, PA with my co-worker Tara, her husband Alan, and three students (Mollie, Michelle, and Ben). Oh, us and about 2,300+ students. It was awesome!

The central message of this year was to stop Christian retreat from popular culture and mainstream trends. As some of you may be painfully aware, a Christian subculture has formed in opposition to the world around it–a subculture and not a counterculture. Numerous speakers and discussion sections encourages students (and us campus ministers) to be in the world but not of it, instead of being neither.

Brothers and sisters from different cities meet each other in common salvation and felt the Call to common redemption. The students were inspired by countless stories of Christ’s work around the globe through people doing simple things with great hope and God’s endurance. The beginning of Kiva was simply a young girl who was heart broken over the suffering around the world and the comfortable life of most Americans. As of December 18, 2008, Kiva has distributed $52,624,535 ($52 MILLION!) in loans from 383,042 lenders. A school in Pittsburgh that is truly transforming the lives of a poverty stricken neighborhood (www.manchesterguild.org) was started by a young man who was taught poetry when he was a troubled youth. Bill Strickland has dedicated his life to this school, has received with the MacArthur “Genius” Award in 1996, and was sworn in as a member of the Presidents Committee on the Arts and the Humanities in 2002.

It was an amazing time, and I am so grateful for all the prayers and support of this event. If you would like to know more about the event and how you can connect with students over this, please feel free to contact me. Also, if you are interested in helping college students attend this event, please contact me. In fact, if there is ANYTHING in the past few paragraphs that has inspired you, please contact me.

Sort of shifting gears here; I want to speak of my friend Miles. Some of you may know him or have heard me speak of him before. He is a prayer warrior. I could tell you numerous stories of how God has come to him through prayer and answered his pleading and intercession, but there was this moment that rocked me to the core about this guy. We were sitting down after a break out session, and I shared with him my joy that God had answered prayer again in his life. His mother had been rushed to the ICU, but a day after he brought that to us in prayer, she was stable and looked like no permanent damage had occurred. He said, “I kind of feel bad that I keep coming to everyone with these things. It’s like, ‘Uh-oh. Miles has ANOTHER prayer request.’” I set the man straight. He has been such an encouragement to me through his faithfulness in prayer. He has been an inspiration in showing us how God answers prayers in mighty ways. He then shared with me that his mother has had health problems for most of his life and that through the power of prayer, God has brought her through struggle after struggle.

He never saw it as power given him. It has been power from Him. I’ve fallen multiple times into thinking that some how the amazing ways God has answered my prayer had anything to do with me–like somehow I could call fire from the sky. God is mighty to save. God is mighty to answer. And God is eternally patient with people of little faith and big egos.

Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written something. A proper letter will be coming shortly. You internet people are getting this letter special. I hope the LORD is blessing you with joy, keeping you steady in affliction, and blessing you in prayer.

ROMANS 12

 

Video Project

Hey everyone!  Here’s a video that one of the guys at Crosswalk created.  I hope you enjoy it!  Especially that handsome, insightful, and mustached devil… 

 

Message From the Management

Hi everyone,

So a few changes that have been long overdue have finally come about.  First, if you haven’t noticed yet, I updated the page about the House.  There are no longer any pictures of the construction; instead, there is a beautiful picture of the completed building.  Oooh-ahh!

Secondly, I have archived the letters that I was physically sending out via the USPS.  So for any reader whose physically address I don’t have, you can take a look at my previous letters now.  If you look on the right hand side of the website, you’ll see the site menu displays the “Archived Letters” under the Pages section.

Third, I updated the “About” section.  (I now sport a mustache…)

Thanks again for all your prayers and support!  I hope you all had a great Christmas and New Year!  There are a few rants I plan to put up soon and a short Christmas tale.  God bless you in 2009!

Ezekiel 36:26-27  “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.”

 

A Christmas Story

I wake up to a pounding on my door. It’s Wednesday morning during Finals week.

“Are we still doing this thing?”

“Yep.”

The guys start to wake up, and the kitchen becomes active. The guys start to boil water any way they can-even inside the oven. Coco mix is poured into the jug, and Nate puts the wooden spoon into his power drill. It works like a charm, and the hot chocolate tastes great. The morning starts off with laughter and prayer.

We set up on a corner just off of campus. Orange 5 gallon jug bright in the overcast, winter morning. I worry we are going to miss the morning crowd, but a steady flow of people approach the campus from the train station two blocks away.

Marshmallows get put in the steaming chocolate, and surprised smiles come from startled morning commuters. People pass on by, nervously laugh, and offer their appreciation for the drinks. The guys wave, and say “Have a great day!” “Good luck with finals!” Some people don’t seem to understand what we are doing.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Just trying to share some love.”

In an hour, the guys have passed out over 100 cups of hot chocolate and just as many words of encouragement.

“You encourage us; we encourage others; together we are preparing the way of the Lord! (Isaiah 40:3)

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Merry Christmas everyone!

 

The Vice of Virtue

Thought of the Day: God has given us minds to imagine the Universe, the past, and the future, but when I clasp my hands, I can feel how tiny my intertwined fingers really are.

Ok, so I’ve been struggling with moralism and grace for a very long time.  Here is the dilemma: I want to be in a state of righteousness.  I want to feel clean and a closeness with the Father.  I want to follow the covenants and commandments of my loving Father. I know that when I can live in the law that He has handed down, I feel clean and obedient.  However, the law breeds death.  They are chains that demonstrate how broken I am and how much I am in need of a Savior.  Following the law brings moralism and self-righteousness; when my true righteousness is an external gift and not an internal achievement.

However, sinning the more to receive more grace is a childlike understanding of redemption.  While moralism is a foolish exercise, repentance still means to turn away from the sin I love to do and then despise after I’ve done it.  Admitting sin and repenting it are two different things (Thank you Josh and the Spirit for that Good Word).

I fear virtue, and I fear that virtue has become villianized.  I fear virtue that leads to pride.  And I’m scared that the “new” emphasis on grace I am seeing is turning to an attack on living a life pleasing to God.  However, following the 10 Commandments is only living out 10 of the hundreds.  I suppose the backlash of young believers against the 10 (and how many Christians end up in pride) is the apparent prioritizing of those 10 over the two that Christ put at the top of the list (Matt 22:33-29).

I can do NOTHING without Christ.  Anything that is righteoues is a gift of the LORD, and in Him I must dwell.  I so easily forget who I am.  Again, I thank Josh and the Spirit.  John 15:1-17.   I suppose the answer is to live a life of righteousness because we have been freed from sin, and to remember we can only have that freedom because of the life and work of Christ.  We must be strong in our courage in Christ, and overflowing in humility remembering it is not be our own ability to be righteous.  The answer is to be obedient to the Father’s commands, and overjoyed in our freedom through the Son.  We obey the Father because of the Son did it first.  We are adopted into our Father’s family because of our Brother and Savior.  We have no power to do that which we are called to do.

Reading this passage further, Jesus actually calls us to do something so much harder than the commands of the Father.  We have to love each other as Christ loved us.  We have to lay our lives down for one another–with no thought to the pain.  With no thought to our own struggle, pride, or strength.

That is how we live in virtue.  By being so low and sacrificing for everyone without complaining, thought to reward in this world, self-righteousness (since it is not our own), approval of others, or question of how long we must deal with it that loving others is so ugly to view that pride will not breed.  Do those actions earn our salvation?  Once again, it is NOT our own ability to do these things.  It is only through Christ that these things can happen.  But we most obey His command and abide in Him.

 

Disagreement and Grace

First off, I suppose I should speak on the last blog. I got a wide range of responses. I realize I’m a passionate guy, and there was a concern voiced that the last blog was a little… militant. I want to apologize if my tone was a little too in your face; however, I don’t retract anything that I said. lol, there was also a concern that the CCO is militant since that was the first blog I wrote after training. I assure you the CCO is NOT militant. I think it is filled with people who are passionate about loving Christ and loving students, but not in the slightest hostile.

Onto the matter at hand! This is not in response to the last blog, but I suppose there is a connection. The more I discuss theology and philosophy; I find I get more excited and/or irritable when talking with people who share my faith but with different perspectives. I keep a much more level head when talking with an atheist then with a brother or sister in Christ. I know that there are many factors involved, but that’s really neither here nor there.

We shouldn’t be timid about what God has laid on our hearts. I know that I do it from time to time, but I think that it is a shame that we can’t speak with conviction. I mean that’s the point of conviction isn’t it? Speaking without hearing is something we should avoid, but why are we so timid about things we believe in?

However, how do we speak with conviction without letting our passions get control? How do we speak to those who need reproach? Or even softer (and maybe more difficult), how do we speak to those who we think are misinterpreting or misrepresenting the Word? How do we speak on matters so close to our hearts? Do we not do it? Do we bite our tongues when we see someone who is hurting someone else in the name of Christ? Do we sit there in silence when we see people holding up signs that say, “God Hates Fags.” Do we just drive by when abortion protesters are calling scared girls and hurting women murders?

But those examples are so easy to bring up since they are so clearly an example of NOT showing love. What about things that are harder to discern or perhaps have become culturally accepted? How do we say something to people who are doing back breaking yard work on Sunday? What about people using the Lord’s name in vain? What about someone who likes to drink just a little too much? What about gossip? Where do we draw the line on gossip and just sharing news? Obviously no one is perfect. We are always struggling to turn from things we don’t want to be doing, and no on wants rebuke someone else because they’ll look self righteous.

Then on to an EVEN harder discussion. What about people who we think are missing the point of the gospel? What about prosperity gospel? What about people who suggested that all things are acceptable because of Christ’s grace? What about people who think nothing is acceptable because it is of the world? How do we speak on legalism and moralism? How do we speak out against a watered down gospel or a post modern rejection of God’s Absolute?

Then God dropped this on me this morning: maybe I don’t know everything. I think that God has gifted with a great deal of insight about who He is, but I don’t know everything. To think that my perspective is the absolutely correct one is pretty freaking arrogant and sure makes God pretty small in scope.

I’m not accepting that God is relative. I’m not saying I should not stand for the convictions God has laid on my heart, and I’m definitely not saying that, “There’s no wrong way to view God.” However, I’m pretty sure I need to start checking my ego at the door when entering conversations about God. I think we need to have these discussions about people who are interpreting the gospel to fit their lives and lifestyles. I think we need to stand against outright heresy. However, I think Paul laid down a pretty good point: “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may answer to everyone.” -Colossians 4:6

Maybe I just need to make sure I am asking God to direct the conversation and speak through me. Maybe, JUST MAYBE, I need to let God be in control. Funny how that always seems to be the best answer to these questions.

I hope Love is filling your days, and Faith is telling you to look forward to the next one.

- Grace and Peace. -

 

Invited to be Heroic

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS LONG (maybe even by Kurt standards). So be ready to spend a good 15 minutes on this.

A quick tangent before the following blog-spiritual warfare. (dun-dun-duuuuuhhh) I think that most people believe that there are things or forces in this world beyond our comprehension. Some might not think these forces are sentient or understand (or care to dwell on) the nature of those forces. I am a firm believer in the presence of these entities having had terribly and wonderfully visceral experiences that defy logic. But I digress.

The point of this smaller rant is a conversation I had with my friend Rachel at New Staff Training about childhood development and the relationship of siblings. We were watching two young brothers interact, and I can describe them in one word: echo. You could set your watch by how quickly the younger one would do or say exactly what the older was doing. It was awesome and hilarious. Rachel then pointed out that that was the age where their relationship would be defined.

If the older brother rejects the younger, then they might like each other, but probably wouldn’t be best friends. If the older accepts and encourages this behavior, then they will be as thick as thieves (maybe even get bff tattoos). Then Rachel threw something out there that blew me away. She said, “It’s so sad that even at that age Satan tries to destroy us and our relationships.”

I am a firm believer in spiritual warfare. I don’t pray in tongues or look for demons in the bushes, but I know that there are things going on beyond the material. But how often do I see children and just think, “That kids is just acting up,” or, “I bet that kid just has too much sugar.” How often do we think about kids and the fact that they are under attack too? I am not preaching brain washing or applying flaming brands to kids with ADD. Nor am I denying the very real physical stimuli as well as environmental and cultural influences that are making our kids increasingly self-absorbed and materialistic. There are things that are kids are facing that need serious consideration.

However, it’s outrageous that we will put our kids on 5 different types of Ritalin without batting an eye, but some people are probably a little uncomfortable with the suggestion that they and their children are under attack spiritually. For those who agree with me about spiritual forces but might not jive with this, I’d like you to think on this: Do you really think that the Enemy cares about age? Do you think the Enemy is going to play nice? To those who think the idea of spiritual influences is a little far fetched, I ask what is crazier: putting your faith in chemists who play with our internal makeup like a blind barber or trusting a power that resonates with every sunset? I will be the first to admit that I am not speaking “scholarly,” but what makes people think that life can and should be viewed from a completely empirical perspective? Is it perhaps faith in the scientific method, despite the constant appearance of things called phenomena? If our human understanding is acknowledgedly limited, then why do we put so much faith in it? Circular logic? So is the absolute faith in empirical reasoning. One of the most fitting lines for our culture is in The Usual Suspects: “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist.”

So that was my small rant.

It actually turns out that the small rant is related to the bigger rant (which might now be the smaller rant). But probably not right away. So bear with me, yet again.

I’m going to quote Rachel a second time. During a training session/class time, Rachel shared with us a new (to me) historical perspective to view an event in the Bible. Through out the Gospels, Jesus approaches his disciples and tells them to “Follow me.” Teachers did NOT do this. In those days, a person who wanted to become a disciple of a teacher would first follow the teacher around for a long time, and then after a considerable amount of time was devoted to following the teacher (and hopefully it was enough to be noticed), the student would then approach the teacher to ask for permission to become a disciple.

Jesus didn’t do that. He was the rabbi who went after his students. He is the God who is seeking US. Jesus defied every human standard and confused every earthly expectation, and continues to do so. It so completely against our nature to not work for our faith and salvation. I dare you to take the job of spiritual transformation and realization out of your hands. I dare you to do the one thing you CAN do with that unconditional love: share it.

Jesus is chasing after us, and is inviting us to do something heroic with our lives. I am not saying that everyone should quit their job and become a missionary. However, I am saying that we need to get our faith out of the Sunday morning rut. God is inviting us to take part in the cosmic drama that dwarfs all other stories we’ve heard. Let that faith do amazing things by NOT keeping it a place of comfort. Why would you limit your faith to a moral compass, when it can be so much more? Be challenged by God, and follow His lead.

God flipped ANOTHER thing on me at training. My friend Zac and I were leading a Bible study on Colossians, and in the final week, we noticed some very distinct language used by Paul. Specifically Colossians 4:2 “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” We asked each other why the use of the word watchful? We started to consider what our prayers are like and how often they are very self centered or asking for something. We came to the conclusion that Paul is suggesting that we should pay attention to our prayers and how we are communicating with God.

Then God flipped it on us. One of the students, Vince, posed that Paul says to us to be watchful for God’s answer. Be watchful for how God is going to respond because God is going to respond. We can talk a beautiful game about accepting God’s invitation, but unless we really believe it, we aren’t going to see it’s happening. Why do we pray in resignation? Why do we pray not expecting an answer? Why do we pray like playing slots? Pray and be watchful because God WILL answer. But be thankful, even if the answer is “No.”

This is one of those things where the line can get blurry. Am I suggesting that people who pray more or pray “better” are earning their salvation? Heck no! What I am suggesting is that people who are letting God shape their lives are more likely to recognize God moving. If you had a grandmother who only spoke Latin, and only spent time with her on Christmas and Thanksgiving, you probably would have a hard time getting to know the nuances of her personality. You would get the idea that she loved you when she hugged you for 15 minutes, and you would understand that she wanted to make sure you were happy since she hovered over you as you ate. But how could you expect to understand that she laughed at the way you slurp your soup because it reminded her of your grandfather if you didn’t get to know her? How could you figure out that every time she got you a refill of water, she would step on her toes like the way she used to in the ballet classes of her youth if you didn’t spend time with her? Would you laugh when she said, “de gustibus non est disputandum” every time you cringed at her prize winning desert? You would never have to earn this woman’s love, but how could you fully see all different ways she showers that love on you if you don’t spend anytime with her?

Also, God is not a concept or an impersonal force. God is a Being that responds to us and our relationship with Him. God is a jealous God who is hurt when we don’t call. Why shouldn’t God be hurt when we only call when we need $20? What does that say about your relationship? How do you think God feels when we try to dictate the relationship on our terms?

If you are still here, thanks for sticking with me for this long. I’m sure I’ve repeated myself from previous blogs or emails, but maybe this was worth hearing again. I know I’ve unleashed a barrage of ideas and rants, but I haven’t written in some time. It’s been a long time for thoughts to stew. I suppose I could have simply said this: “God loves us. God is chasing after us. God has invited us to be a part of His story. All we have to do is say, “Yes,” and mean it.”

I want to thank everyone who has been praying and rooting for me. I can’t say how much it has meant to know that I have you all in my corner. I’m scheduled to head to Philly in a week and a half, and it is going to be AWESOME!

 

A Message From the Moon

Things are awesome and posts will resume shortly.

In the meantime, training has been powerful and useful. God has taken this time to mold me spiritually, intellectually, and communally. Thank you to everyone who has been praying over me and my ministry. They are appreciated! (And please don’t stop. )

At this point, please be praying for the rest of training–I have two more weeks. Also, please pray for my financial support. God has blessed me with a generous outpouring of support already, but I will be living in faith for His providence for my ministry with the CCO for the next three years. And please be praying for the guys I’ll be living with and the other students I will be working with at Temple.

 

In humbleness.

We are small. We are so VERY small.

I was walking home one night–disappointed in myself. I sat down in the middle of an empty parking lot, telling God how sorry I was for being an idiot. And I realized that I was a speck on a very big ball of ground.

I don’t nearly do this enough. I get caught up in my importance, that I forget how small of a creature I am on this rotating ball of nothing in the larger universe. So many times I stare at the sky marveling in the beauty, and forgetting that I am a very small piece in the cosmic puzzle. Yet for some reason, God still delights in me.

Here’s the thing. I take that love and relationship WAY too much for granted and sometimes forget who’s God in the relationship. I sometimes forget that my relationship is NOT a relationship of equals.

I would say this is related to my relationship with my parents. Too often I forget who conceived whom. I talk to them as peers, and not as the people who brought me into this world. It was SO bad when I was in college. I was so insanely disrespectful that I can’t even fathom how poorly I spoke to/treated them. Luckily, they too believe in forgiveness and grace.

A couple of emails ago, I referred to God as “The Big Guy.” And my mom told me she was offended by the remark. I thought she was being legalistic and uptight, but after her explanation that I was taking God too lightly, I knew that she was absolutely right. God wants to have an intimate, open, and loving relationship with us, but God is to be revered. God is the Creator of all existence. God is beyond mortal comprehension and understanding. God is awesome and powerful, and when we are too flippant with our approach to God, we forget our place. I think this part of the reason that God says to not use his name in vain. We need to remember who is holy.

Now, this is not an easy thing for me to come to. I hated the idea of being terrified of God. I thought cowering in fear of God was a blockade to a loving relationship. How can we be close if we’re trembling in the corner? But we need not fear out of terror, but out of reverence.

I think C.S. Lewis used the character of Aslan as a perfect metaphor. Throughout the series, it is stated that Aslan is “not a tame lion”, since, despite his gentle and loving nature, he is powerful and can be dangerous. (Thank you wikipedia.) When reading the books, I can just see Lucy running up and hugging his massive, furry frame knowing fully well that she is safe in his presence. But that is not to forget the awe he commands, and the force of his attack.

On a related note, I still think Prince Caspian holds one of the best metaphors for seeing God. It’s Lucy with her childlike and steady faith that allows her to see Aslan first. It’s Edward and Peter’s obedience to what is right (following an unseen Aslan) that eventually leading to their ability to see him. Then finally, it’s Susan’s knowledge and shame of her doubt, which Aslan immediately forgave, and Aslan immediately embraced her like the child of God she was.

Psalm 103:13-14